Bound by Moonlight by Donna MacMeans

Author:Donna MacMeans [MacMeans, Donna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-08-15T23:00:00+00:00

Eleven

“YOU BELIEVED THIS TO BE RASH? Ill-considered?”

“Don’t tell me you intended for me to take your maidenhead.” He had thought she was merely playacting what she had seen others do. Certainly she couldn’t have planned the timing of that jolt to the carriage caused by the wheel rut, could she?

“That act is generally reserved for husbands, and I’m certainly in no position to fulfill that role.”

He could still see hurt reflected in her eyes, though in truth, he didn’t know if the pain came from her lost innocence or from his words. Damnation, if he had thought the girl was an innocent, he wouldn’t have allowed things to go this far. But how was he to know?

“I should advise, for the sake of your future husband, that a coupling such as this often results in pleasure, not pain. Generally, caution is taken on a woman’s first time to proceed gently. Had I known—”

“You encouraged me,” she accused.

“Good heavens, woman, you dash about London with nary a stitch. What’s a man to assume? You display a confidence and sensuality only known to an experienced woman. And then, of course, there’s the matter of those kisses. I’m only human, Lusinda, a man can only...”

She stared at him aghast, then lifted herself from his lap and pulled her coat tightly around her.

“Lusinda, you know the nature of my business. As desirable as marriage to you might be, it is not something I can afford,” James pleaded. Already he could feel the cold loneliness of his life before Lusinda creep back into his bones. “I explained when I encouraged you to move in with me how family could be placed at risk and used as leverage.”

“By your very words I can see that I can not be used as leverage against you.” She slid to the farthest end of the seat, lifted the shade and pressed her nose to the window.

“Lusinda...I...”

“I believe you have said enough.”

It was probably just as well. He couldn’t think of another thing to say. He just wanted her to look at him, understand that this was an accident, that he meant her no harm. The carriage wheel slipped into the familiar rut and rocked to a stop before a coded rap from Locke sent the driver round to the delivery entrance in the back. They left the carriage and hurried inside.

“I’ll collect my things,” Lusinda said, her gaze averted from him.

Panic slipped through him. “What do you mean?” He grasped her arm and spun her around to face him. “What things?”

“My clothes, the moonflowers... I can’t stay here.” She looked down at her toes, the widow’s jacket pulled tight around her unbound frame. He wanted to pull her into his arms, comfort her, but he suspected such an act would be misinterpreted.

“Lusinda, the damage is done. Your leaving will not change what has happened.” He raised a thumb to brush away a tear track, then tried to pretend that the bit of moisture on his thumb meant nothing to him.

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